We rather choose an happyform to explain our views.
EDUCATION [budget: 6 billion]
because fear is ignorance
CULTURE[budget: 4 billion]
Now, it’s going to be party time!
HEALTH [budget: 6 billion]
To be healthy, simply don’t be sick
Our electoral HAPPYform
Firstly, in order to achieve a good degree of flexibility,
1. Eliminate the military budget (we get over 18 billion)
2. Abolish tax shelters (we get even more)
Then we will transfer the money mainly towards education, health, culture and the social issue
EDUCATION
because fear is ignorance [budget: 6 billion]
To give everybody a lifetime of free education
To grant survival fellowships to students who need it
To Support the positions of the ASSÉ: www.asse-solidarite.qc.ca
To offer music classes beginning in grade school because music stimulates both sides of the brain
More sports and games in school
To teach the basics of quantum physics to everyone to help the population come out of the Middle Ages mindset
To raise teachers wages and the number of teachers and child care workers
No more Ritalin
Establish 1$ child daycare places for all
Teach love: the love of ones self and towards others
An educated people shines in the mists of time
CULTURE
Now, it’s going to be party time! [budget: 4 billion]
We will create the most creative and joyful country in the world
We will have an army of creativity, we will replace their guns with paint brushes in order to go repaint Havana
We will invest 5 millions towards creating an army of clowns that will go save the world
The culture will be at the forefront everywhere in society
It will be so hot, a new economy will be driven by culture
The TV stations will have to devote half of their air time on innovative and creative shows
We gradually eliminate all advertising on TV
The author cinema will be encouraged
A huge sculpture will be erected by Armand Vaillancourt with the carcasses of old outdated submarines purchased by Canada
Rick Mercer will be appointed Minister of Culture
HEALTH To be healthy, simply don’t be sick [budget: 6 billion]
Advocate the approach of preventive health
Halting the avalanche of bitter pills that the pharmaceutical companies and the Ministry of Health make us swallow
Promote natural and intuitive approaches
Learn more about the indigenous and Eastern health systems
Encourage the spread of laughter and its curative virtues
Study the work of doctors Patch Adams, Christian Tall Shaller and Norman Cousins
Offer health care at home rather than build more large unhealthy bunkers
Increase the salaries and hire more staff in the health area
Take good care of all seniors
Create transition homes for people at the end of their life
Encourage musicians to go play for them, as the pianist Bernard Buisson who has been playing more than 25 hours per week in different hospitals for the last 10 years
In order to restore the balance of healthy living, we must bring back more foolishness to counter the seriousness that has reigned for too long (laughter has already been banned in medecine)
We are for the return of smiles on passport photos
ECONOMY To save money, just stop wasting it! (income + / - 150 billion)
We will abolish the lucrative contract that the Bank of Canada imposes on us without merit and will print our money by ourself.
Retrieve retroactively all tax evasions over the last 10 years (over 30 billion)
Abolish tax shelters for companies operating in Canada
Advocate the Ungrowing of Economy instead of racing towards infinite growth
Adopt the Manifesto «Pour une décroissance conviviale» <www.decroissance.qc.ca>
Promote the «Voluntary Simplicity» way of life <www.simplicitevolontaire.org>
Support small businesses, self-employed workers, artisans and artists
Promote the development of «Open Source» software to give small businesses the means to achieve the Ungrowing of Economy
Adopt the guaranteed minimum income for all The remainder will go to pay the public debt, to get rid of it once and for all!
The work-less party of Canada will be appointed Minister of Finances
SENIORS
Wisdom is having memory of the past [budget: 2 billion]
- Doubling the old-age pension (campaign "LIVING THE OLD!")
- Creating a register of knowledge so that experience does not clear by the next twenty years
- restore dignity to the status of elderly BRING FUN IN ELECTIONS «America has the best politicians money can buy» Will Rogers
[budget: 2 million]
Adopt proportional representation in parliament
Encourage participation in the elections by paying $10 to each voter for voting
The voting areas will be decorated and soft music will be presented
We will give children the right to vote
DRUGS "The addiction to hard drugs is a disease, not a criminal act" (income + / - 10 billion)
Adopt the position taken by Conservative Senator
Pierre-Claude Nolin and Liberal candidate Boris Saint-Maurice:
decriminalize all drugs.
We will save a lot of money now wasted in the repressive vicious circle of prison-police-judge-lawyer
By legalizing marijuana we cut off the sails of organized crime
With money from sales taxes, the government can help people who need it
«Pot is fun» Allan Ginsberg
ECOLOGY
[budget: 5 billion]
Nationalize any exploitation of the country’s
natural resources because they belong to all: water, wind, soil, mines,
oil, forests, etc.
Cut gazoline consumption by half within five years
Polluting cars will be banned in all cities
The public transport system will be free, environmentally friendly and highly effective
LOVINGNESS, TENDERNESS AND CRAZYNESS
Make love, not war [budget: 2 million]
Create squads of love and tenderness so that everyone will be hugged and cuddled
Establish multi-generational and relational centers where elders and children can come together and help one another
Rehabilitate the wise foolishness so that people can finally find their inner balance
Being too crazy or too serious harms humans, but keeping balance between the two is healthy
Patch Adams will be appointed Minister of Health
MAGIK and COMMUNICATION Dare to hope, dare to love [budget: 2 billion]
Get in touch with intuitives who communicate with trees, animals, spirits and souls
Find the language of vibrations
Stimulate research in these intuitive scientific areas
Help each and every one reach their full potential, unleash their creative forces
Once we have found our equilibrium, we can finally save the endangered rhinos
The horn of plenty will appear to give every one the desire to change the world
END OF CANADA.INC
After one year in power we will begin our five-year plan for the abolition of the central government of Canada.
We will share the power fairly among the different provinces and territories but would keep the Senate for
international issues, Culture, Health, Education, Commerce and the peace keeper Army.
Of course, soldiers would still have
the mission to repaint the world, because as Camus said, we must "put some color on the void."
Commentaires (72) >>
Enfin. Ecrit par Tim Couture le 2008-09-08 14:13:01
C'est génial.
Enfin, j'ai rêvé et été ému durant la lecture de votre ''Joyeuseforme'' électorale.
Si seulement tout ça était possible.
Et je suis pour la nomination de Mononc'Serge comme ministre de la culture.
Bravo.
Si seulement?!? Ecrit par RastaPof le 2008-09-09 01:01:42
mais c'est possible .. après tout, si george W bush peut être président des états unis, une armée de clown peut ben peinturer le monde moi j'aime surtout l'histoire de décriminaliser la Drogue, parce que la répression sa fait juste engendrer plus de trafic illégal et d'opérations policières qui n'en finissent plus de couter de l'argent. Anyway , Neo Rhino, Best Damn Party Canada ever seen
:P
On lache pas !!!! Ecrit par VALMAT le 2008-09-09 22:35:29
En avant les troupes.... Nous on aimerait que vous preniez l'initiative d'interdire les radicaux libres.....
... Ecrit par Bob le 2008-09-12 00:57:50
Stupid Hippies...
... Ecrit par max le 2008-09-12 23:42:02
je vais voter pour vous, ca fait ben plus de sens que les marxistes-leninistes ou le western block party
... Ecrit par Dean Burton le 2008-09-15 22:36:13
bravo, well said comrade!
This is awesome! Ecrit par Blackie le 2008-09-20 20:02:53
I'm totally in love with this party, even though most of this stuff is in french, and I know maybe like one or two words of french.
I'm willing to join once I join eighteen! xD
Hmm. Ecrit par Robin le 2008-09-20 22:50:24
Remember when the Rhino Party's platform was funny?
Is this real? Ecrit par Tony le 2008-09-21 18:02:10
Seriously, cause if you have a guy running in Scarborough agincourt... You've got my vote!
Ahem... Ecrit par Francis Bélanger le 2008-09-22 10:44:43
Comme disait l'autre inconnu, le vrai Parti Rhinocéros était drôle, lui.
Je questionne aussi le fait que ce soit un parti pancanadien et que la feuille d'érable soit présente dans son nom, alors que le parti Rhino original était davantage souverainiste, ayant comme but, entre autres, de ridiculiser les élections fédérales.
Tout est là : http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parti_Rhinoc%C3%A9ros
Voyez comme c'était plus drôle.
I support the Neo-Rhino Party Ecrit par Alex Desjardins le 2008-09-22 20:01:58
As long as you commit to repealing the law of gravity, I will support you guys until the ends of the earth.
I WILL DEFEAT YOU GRAVITY, MARK MY WORDS!
Je donne mon support - I'd vote Rhino! Ecrit par Madfishmonger le 2008-09-23 14:13:45
J'apprecis la chance a voter pour une partie sensible et different.
Brilliant platform. What a breath of fresh air!
Yawn... Ecrit par CJP le 2008-09-24 17:44:26
Breath of freah air? Boring old hippie-marxist crap. I thought the Rhinos were funny. Me thinks Canada needs a neo-neoRhino Party. Give it up.
health care aide, former soldier Ecrit par gord le 2008-09-24 18:03:58
Je suis Anglais. Je parle francais en peut. Je pense que le NEO.Rhino est le meilleur! This party is the answer to all my hopes and dreams. I work with disabled children and once carried a rifle for Canada. There is a need for a party that will flush away all the old,
tired resumes of the money grubbers and power mongers. We need love and hope for all, we need joy, we need hope and happiness, fun and laughter. I trained for war, now I train for love and peace. The Rhino party is the answer. I'm voting Rhino here in Toronto, heart of capitalist greed, smog and lousy hockey teams. Pave Toronto, turn it into an airfield for colorful balloon flying or skydiving.Nous avons besoin de Rhino.ca.!!
elder Ecrit par Barbara le 2008-09-26 09:32:14
I'm with you Rhinos .... altho you are not half as funny as some of the guys now campaigning. Stephen Harper is morphing into Mr Rogers before my very eyes! How "deep" is that??
Funny or not Ecrit par O Lee Sheat le 2008-09-26 11:29:33
Even if they are not like the old rhino party, they make me laugh at politician because and i truly think that they are still the best choice in this election.
Why aren't they in the debate? Ecrit par Must be Blind le 2008-10-02 17:12:03
How come the neorhino.ca isn't represented in the debate? We need a call from the masses to get them to take their rightful place between Layton and May.
je suis un héron Ecrit par un héron le 2008-10-03 01:27:00
i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
BOULE DE RIZ à l'Amour LIBRE Ecrit par Calvince Joyeux le 2008-10-03 21:43:15
Au début je pensais voter pour le parti Parti, mais puisque les Rhinos sont de retour et qu'il représentent a mon tout véritable et absolu indiscutable avis LE SEUL PARTI CAPABLE DE RENVERSER MCCAIN ET OBAMA ET DION ET HARPER ET BELL CANADA ET TOUT CEUX QU'ON CONNAIT PAS ET QUI FONT DES CHOSES QU'ON CONNAIT PAS ET QUI FONT DU MONDE UN MONDE MEILLEUR POUR EUX ZOTRE TOUT SEUL, j'aurais enfin le plaisir de voter pour la première fois de ma vie selon mes convictions !!! OINK OINK !! Vive le Quénada ouni et le gout du sel dans la plasticine maison !!
Une grosse boule de riz et d'amour pour vous!!!
... Ecrit par Ch2 le 2008-10-03 22:27:49
Tres bon!
Honestly, What the hell? Ecrit par Somone with Sense le 2008-10-06 09:57:31
You hvae to be kidding.. This has got to be one of the most FUBAR parties I have ever read up on. I Actually think that I have wasted time fo my life readin, and responding to this screwed up party. They basically seem to want to kill our economy and whore out our resources so that we are a poor country. Nine tenths of what they stand to do seem to be completely useless and I am also starting to debate wether or not everyone should have the right to run for federal government in this country. I think that if this country ever actually does make it to be a Majority, scrath that, even a Minority goveremnet, I may just have to move to Europe where things still seem to be half sane. What is the matter with you people? Do you seriously want to through Canada into a spiral of poverty and killing just so everyone is "Happy"? If everyone was happy in a country, no money would be made and no luxeries would be available thus wise. I think that half the damn country is lazy as it is and trying to make them work less is one of the biggest mistakes you could possibly make. And another thing, we also don't want crack heads running around and killing others because no matter how you look at it, No one will be happy from that.
To Mr. Someone with Sense Ecrit par Someone who bothered to do her research le 2008-10-06 14:29:32
Dear Idiot,
i can't believe you actually took this party seriously. Honestly, the entire basis of the party is political satire. what other party would have a platform that is "two feet tall and made of wood"(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinoceros_Party_of_Canada).
You really need to research things before you go on ridiculous rants like this.
P.S: Spell check was invented for a reason, I suggest you use it.
You got it all wrong Ecrit par Serge Grenier le 2008-10-07 07:41:44
You say you're Someone with Sense, but you don't make much sense at all.
We're not for killing, we're for peace. And if everyone was happy, economy would be in better shape, not worse... Economy is the result of work. Luxury is for people who thrive on other people's work while doing nothing for themselves. People who think like you do are not welcome in Europe either.
...WHY!? Ecrit par person le 2008-10-08 11:05:53
whys is everyone saying french! and why don't u translate anything!?
Pas beucoup de francais Ecrit par Moi le 2008-10-09 12:14:16
Je parle un peu de francais... This is awsesome
Ministre de l'éducation. Ecrit par Indi - La petite corne le 2008-10-11 16:59:45
Dites que vous me nommerez Ministre de l'éducation.
English Ecrit par anon le 2008-10-11 22:43:56
you should really have an english option :D
English will cum Ecrit par Indi - La petite corne le 2008-10-12 11:40:31
When anglo canadian candidates will form a majority, then we'll turn bilingual. I'd say that the Work less party should become the anglo branch of the neorhino.ca To be continued...
??? Ecrit par geotech le 2008-10-12 16:58:02
Im going to learn french just cause of this website......
i agree, je suis avec vous! Ecrit par elissa le 2008-10-13 08:02:04
je suis bilingue, i'm bilingual
and i would vote for neorhino / et je voterai neorhino
ils on raison, les elections ne sont que de la merde / they are right, the elections are nothing but shit
NEORHINO!
GO NEORHINO! Ecrit par CARLAAAAAAA :) le 2008-10-13 13:14:23
i am currently doing a project on the elections and this is the funnest campaign site i've been on all day :)
policies/platform isn't a repeat of everyone else's :)
i love rhinos ! :)
Laugh out loud Ecrit par Indi - La petite corne le 2008-10-13 15:41:24
Vote for Neo Rhino ! If you can't, vote Marijuana. If not, vote NDP ou BQ.
What again? Ecrit par What? le 2008-10-13 20:44:23
English anyone? What happened to the real funny satire...mow down the rockies and fill the great lakes to create employment?
Been there, done that! Ecrit par Serge Grenier le 2008-10-14 10:02:55
Sorry for lack of translation, but this is due to lack of time not lack of interest.
We thought what was real funny 20 years ago might not be as funny today.
Anyway, we're not trying to be funny, we're trying to have fun. This is our political message to the world : having fun and being happy is the most useful thing you can do to help life overcome this mess serious people have put us into.
I can't vote yet but still..... Ecrit par Unavailable/Indisponible le 2008-10-14 17:00:42
I think that this party is great because they know how to mix work with play
Invitons Ecrit par Indi - La petite corne le 2008-10-14 18:58:59
Invitons le Work less party et le Parti Marijuana à se joindre à nous pour créer le Parti Subversif !
... Ecrit par slavador le 2008-10-14 19:07:32
Is this like the total faggot party or is this just how the french are?
... Ecrit par slavador le 2008-10-14 19:10:01
The site feels like a paedaphile support group. Richard the Troll where are you?
Les anglais Ecrit par Indi - La petite corne le 2008-10-14 19:45:09
Demandez-vous pas pourquoi on veut se séparer de ces anglais. La gaïtée devrait être déclarée état normal de l'humain, juste pour faire chier ces anglo racistes et homophobes. Anglais = langue de barbare.
????? Ecrit par moi le 2008-10-15 06:57:51
no lives vous en avez du temps a perdre
... Ecrit par wow le 2008-10-15 08:37:40
wow.... really impressed..7candidates, 2263 votes.. and you want to become the Goverment?!? i don't see why you spend public funds qith your stupidities
YOUR A FUCKING JOKE ! Ecrit par gahh ! le 2008-10-15 10:40:38
so pretty much , your a joke,
you have no life.
why would someone spend there time making this when you KNOW that you will never win,
GET A LIFE,
GO BLUE GO :D
moses beaver the heron king Ecrit par moses beaver le 2008-10-15 10:49:35
i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
sweet Ecrit par the Man le 2008-10-16 18:30:13
how much to join?
Wow Ecrit par LOLOL le 2008-10-20 18:18:30
Wow gahh! you fucking idiot this party is for people who people who still want to vote but think all of the other parties are awful!
to monseur Indi - La petite corne Ecrit par Stevemac le 2008-10-22 21:41:05
I Dare you to say that Again!!!!/Je vous ose dire cela encore ! ! !
Saumon bleu... ou mauve , sa depend des gouts.... Ecrit par Wisty le 2008-11-13 17:39:41
Moi j'ai un mot a dire " MALADE " Sa marche pi c joyeu en même temps ! Continuer parti rhino vous l'avez l'affaire.
Laisser vous pas abatre par des morons. Vous etes les meilleurs !
u are retarded Ecrit par caleb le 2008-11-28 10:26:14
wtf is amater with you. you are not even a real party why dont u relize that you are a joke and nobody takes u seriously. and wtf dose it all mean all you do is talk stupid hippy tree skerwing nonsense
About Quebec separation, and a few other suggestions Ecrit par EvilGentleman le 2008-12-02 11:52:43
You need to support Quebec separation. I suggest lifting Quebec to new heights first, and then allowing Quebec to separate. This could be accomplished by putting Quebec in a giant La Senza bra, which is designed to lift and separate.
Make Ubbi-Dubbi (From the PBS show Zoom!) Canada's official language.
Save billions by removing all traffic signals and signalling devices; amend the traffic laws to require anyone approaching an intersection to yield to everyone else.
Hold your annual conventions at Montreal's Juste Pour Rire/Just For Laughs Comedy Festival. This would also allow you to recruit new candidates more easily.
Ban the mammoth hunt, as well as dinosaur farming.
Ensure that Canadians have the right to bare arms... and breasts.
Deport all the commenters who come here taking everything seriously. Also deport anyone else who has no sense of humour.
Make "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" the national anthem.
Bring Canadian troops home from Afghanistan, but only if they bring some good hash with them when they come back.
Join the opposition coalition, but only if they can accept Ron Jeremy as Prime Minister.
Allow a Mongolian Navy base in Newfoundland, so that Mongolia can have a navy too.
Order all Canadian flags to be made from hemp. Forbid the burning of the flag, unless it is rolled properly first.
Move the national capital to Saint-Louis-du-Ha!-Ha!
lool Ecrit par Kev le 2008-12-02 20:51:22
jadore, vous êtes les dignes représentant du peuple XD....mais sa manque de comique tout sa ^^..... mais je vous adore quand meme
neo-ideo Ecrit par Enrico Polinini le 2008-12-09 12:31:26
well, how about just electing James Bond.
all the guys would think its awesome, and all the girls would be in love.
Incredible! Ecrit par Dr. Patch Adams le 2008-12-09 12:31:32
I fully support this party, as well as any parties this party will be hosting. I shall bring the punch.
I would also like to bring special attention and commendation to the army of clowns. I would also like to suggest that I be the head of said army, as I have substantial experience in such areas.
... Ecrit par Enrico Polinini le 2008-12-09 12:42:53
oh, and all government meetings will be held at the vinyl cafe.
with tea and crumpetts
... Ecrit par Enrico Polinini le 2008-12-09 12:44:23
and patch adams,.....i see you!
Sexuality (same sex or not) is good, perversion (same sex or nor) is bad Ecrit par Serge le 2008-12-19 15:24:20
First and foremost to be able to live happily everafter in society, I think democracy is still the best way.
The principle is simple : one person, one vote.
Everyone is invited, notwitstanding their sexual orientation.
People who still don't understand that should be treated for ignorance !
hahahahahahhaa Ecrit par Karen le 2009-03-11 13:16:43
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha!
Dayton Bardos deak Ecrit par Dayton Bardos deak le 2009-05-08 12:50:07
as long as gay marrige is ok then im in 100%
epic Ecrit par Craig anderson le 2009-05-14 08:25:04
I love this party!
Neo-Rhino is Amazing Ecrit par Craig Anderson le 2009-05-14 08:38:34
I love the neo-rihno party even more than my girlfriend, Thresa
alf the man Ecrit par YES le 2009-07-22 20:46:25
no one else will give me a guaranteed weekly orgasm so rhino is still the best
Hum hum... Ecrit par Stéphane le 2009-07-30 22:49:55
Ça fait honte au programme électoral du parti Rhinocéros, c'est moi qui le dit !
fails Ecrit par dasfd le 2009-10-06 12:58:46
this party epically fails
There will always be more, Ecrit par Epic, Ally le 2009-10-06 23:45:56
De fête en fête jusqu'à la victoire !
IN SOCIAL STUDIES CLASS Ecrit par Betnar le 2009-10-08 12:44:22
THE NEORHINO PARTY IS AWESOME. GO RHINO'S!
... Ecrit par CalliRF le 2009-12-10 16:06:14
I have intentions to become the leader of this party. Once I am leader I will win the election and become Prime Minsiter. The Rhinoceros party will save the world.
I am in love with this party.
wow Ecrit par hahaha le 2010-02-09 18:09:27
weird party :P
Running for the Rhinos Ecrit par R Thomas le 2010-02-14 03:37:32
I am planning to run for the Rhino party in the next election in my home province of Saskatchewan.
Bonjour! Hello! Ecrit par D. Foster le 2010-02-28 02:34:51
I wish I did know French, but even at 60, I intend to try to learn. I am in B.C., so there is no one to speak it with amongst my acquaintances. I am a member of the Canadian Action Party, supporting ongoing democracy, which gives everyone the right to retain possession of their vote at all times and allowing them to use it to support the Canadidate they prefer, and to change it if they want to. I would gladly join the NeoRhino party, too. Many of the ideas are entirely compatible with discussions we have had in our meetings.
There is, in what I see here of the NeoRhino party, as one of the posts said, the intention to have fun, more than to "be funny" and although I previously read the very funny suggestions of the party's previous incarnation and enjoyed them very much, I also appreciate entirely the above ideas. Much thought and obviously balanced and healthy intentions went into all of these ideas, and I find them all very positive and worthwhile for indicating a direction that would be a vast improvement over the status quo. I have lived in the wilderness most of my adult life, and live a very simple, content, and satisfying one on the barest minimum of "money" combined with a great deal of creativity and humour.
Thank you for your excellent work at which you play so well!
styii Ecrit par sr6ir le 2010-03-25 12:05:11
best party ever!
GET A REP FOR SCARBOROUGH SOUTHWEST Ecrit par Matt le 2010-04-30 11:41:04
I WILL VOTE FOR THIS, AND GET ALL MY FRIENDS TO VOTE FOR THIS
IT'S AN AWESOME PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
perfection Ecrit par Evan le 2010-07-08 09:49:26
this is actually amazing your idea are not for yourself or your party but for the country and making the world a better place I am behind you 99%, 1%= abloation of the goverment of canada. This world will always have evil and if not kept in check it can over power good, do all of your amazing ideas but keep order in the country, fyi you definatly have my vote :D
nvm Ecrit par Evan le 2010-07-08 16:50:03
I didn't understand what you ment by abolish, I'm all for it
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